Controlled Breathing

Hardly the wind that takes away

grief, the slash of branches against

the side of the house, scuttle of leaves.

Breathe in, hold, breathe — the eerie voice

of the CT scan guides me. He sounds

handsome, even debonair, just the thing

for contemplating mortality.

So many years of sadness tidily packaged

on a top shelf. I’ve no illusions 

about an afterlife, this last stretch crammed

with unknowns and false clues.

I’m not wired to be chipper. Although

I’m still calmed by the heron passing

the back window in the murk of dusk.

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Mercedes Lawry is the author of three chapbooks. The latest, In the Early Garden with Reason, was selected by Molly Peacock for the 2018 WaterSedge Chapbook Contest. Her poetry has appeared in such journals as Poetry, Nimrod, and Alaska Quarterly Review, and she has been nominated several times for a Pushcart Prize. She’s frequently published short fiction and was a semi-finalist in The Best Small Fictions 2016. Her poetry book, Vestiges, was published in late 2022 by Kelsay Books. Her collection, Small Measures, was recently released by ELJ Editions.